This is a vent. If you are offended by vents... gtfo mah monday ta friday plane, ya damn monkey fightin' snakes!

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I make no apologies.
I am overworked and underpaid.
Underpaid and overlived.
And all that extra life is exhausting.

I am Tired. Tired of projects, tired of sleeping, tired of waking up, of driving to school, tired of typing.
Tired.
This is beyond the tiredness I usually feel, that I felt before the testing. That was a weariness, not like this. This Tiredness is an ache. I do not long for sleep, I long for a rest of my mind and my bones that sleep cannot offer. Sleep is not safe.
I am so very Tired.
Tried to sleep the other day. Dreamt about Dead Space combined with a birthday party. Everyone dies except me and the birthday girl. I was trapped, she wasn't on the same ship. Battlecruiser, not a mining vessel. Long network of tubes along the inner hull, accessible by some sort of shuttle system. I was repairing them after having been contaminated by the water. The water was everywhere. Dream ended with me being assimilated, though not actually ever dying. It was more of a sort of “immortalization” than death. Not scary, but it woke me up. I'm never remembered a dream so vividly in my entire life. Usually I don't remember them at all.
Decapitations are hard with a lead pipe. That was my weapon in the dream. Odd, but understandable – I don't know how to use a gun.
My God, I am Tired.
I hate furries sometimes. Well, that's a lie. Even when I pretend I don't hate them I have a deep seated hatred for them that I'm supressing. I don't really know why – they're just weird in a different way than I am. I have civil wars on planets half controlled by them in my dreams. I think it's because of the Aspiration. I don't know. Some people may know about that “ Chronicle of the Aspiration” story – it's on my dA. I had a full storyline developed for it at one point, but I'm not planning on writing it out because I don't think I could make the connections I needed to make. Similar reason to why Russel's story is in mothballs.
Or was it because I lost interest? Maybe it had to do with the furry hating. I disrecall.
I forget things a lot when I'm Tired. My eyes hurt, really badly. I think I may be straining them. I hope not. That would be unfortunate.
But God, I am tired. And I cannot sleep, because when I sleep my mind goes to that planet. I named it once, twice. Cyrea, I think I decided on. Or Alexandria. My God, I am so vain some times. I wonder what happened to the maps I made of the continents on Alexandria?
That civil war won't happen, though. I killed all of them without a drop of blood. Simply made them cease to exist. I wonder if God ever considered that. Keep people from dying by not creating people. Novel concept.

Or that one plot line I thought of once where everything took place inside my head, because I was comatose. There were three factions, representing the id, the ego, and the superego. Also, there was a faction representing environmental factors. The superego was straight out of my favorite science fiction stories all scrambled into a high-tech nation geared towards war. Their armor was large and bulky, like a space marine combat suit from Warhammer 40k, except that they had actual bible verse written on the outside. It was blue, dark blue, but I think It had camouflage of some kind that could be activated.
The Id was, was beastial. Those motherfucking furries again, invading my motherfucking id. I don't think Samuel L. Jackson was there, but I might dream him into that situation now that I'm consciously thinking about it. I think the ego was based on magic. Elves? Maybe. Likely kitsune. Maybe both. The only part – one of the only parts – of the furry fandom I can moderately respect, the Kitsune. I've got nothing against werewolves either. They're alright by me. Double standard? Meh. Too tired to care.
Something about the 40th blood mages core, coming into contact with the entrenched 7th infantry division. I was a kitsune, unconscious, and – get this – female (I'm sure this has some psychological relevance. Don't really care, it was part of the dream/plot idea. Again, too Tired to care.), being protected by the commanding officer of the infantry division, a lieutenant. They found me unconscious on a patrol. I think his last name was Archer. I disrecall. It was probably Archer - that name occurs often in my dreams. Frequent user of mine. His division was at a little under half strength, having only recently invaded the ego's continent and pushed through about 73 miles of swamp. His previous C.O.s were KIA. That much I remember. I never got past the actual fight. I remember that the scouts Archer posted reported the blood mages' attack, and that I woke up in their mobile command center – a bombed out, immobilized-mobile HQ, highly confused and incoherent. Considering that I was perceiving the situation from both third person omniscient and first person, this seems understandable. Man, I have some weird dreams.
I think there was something about a reinforcement that was supposed to reach us and I got delayed. 30th mechanized. Turns out mechs don't work well in swamps. Too bad. I bet an Uziel, a Mad Cat or a Thor would turn those mages to pulp. I really wish I had dreamt or thought up an ending to that scene. I don't think I could write my way out of it; I'm not much of a writer when it comes to huge climactic battles. I vaguely recall trying to make a plot line for this... something about going AWOL, trying to connect me to key parts of my mind by taking me to their metaphysical manifestations as part of my dream-scape. Yeah. Quest to take me to the capitals of the id, ego and superego nations. They all had continents and countries. I had islands, currents, names, forts, cities, major battle locations, major bridges, types of terrain, obstacles... all labeled. I still have the map. Might post it on dA some time. Part of one of my worldbuilding projects.
I capitalized id before, then realized and fixed it. My God am I tired. Should probably get back to work. Really don't want to. Stupid fuckin' life.

Life sucks, and then you die.

I hate remembering quotes. I can even remember them when I'm tired. It isn't fair, I can't remember important things when I'm tired, but I remember useless quotes 24/7.

I feel a pressing need to clarify, having already posted this all. I don't hate the foxies, or the wolfies. I really don't hate the dragons, either. But there is a point, you furry fans out there, that your absurdity is nothing more than just that - absurdity. If you can't deal with the laws of biology that conclusively prove that your pipe dream is just a pipe dream, then GTFO Life. Feel free to enjoy your strangeness on the internet, but know this - your end is inevitable. Reality will take you back whether you want it to or not.

That said, Props to the TF-ers. You guys make science fiction and fantasy interesting. Or if you don't, you're probably at least copying/inadvertently imitating someone else who does.

I am TIRED, my eyes hurt. Must finish now.